~CucumberMelon-pie

Ok, so, apparently everyone on my brother's soccer team will now be awarded nicknames for some random reason. And what does my brother choose? --Spencer.
I have one word for you, Ryan. FAIL.
Those of you who know me might know that I get really excited about giving people nicknames. In fact, if we're really close then you may find that I rarely call you by your real name.
So I, (having waited for the opportunity to arise where I will finally be able to give Ryan and his other little friends awesome nick names) would not stand for this failurificness.
So me and the rest of my family, including my grandparents who are visiting for the weekend, all sat around the dinner table and began the debate.
Ryan's apparently the fastest kid on his team, so that's what we had to relate it to.
I'd like to say I came up with some pretty awesome ideas. But alas, they were all rejected for various reasons.

Rhinocerous--too bulky and hard to say
Seabiscuit--too gay
Woodpecker--just plain dumb
Achilles--I'd say this one was more completely disreguarded than rejected
Hermes--sounds too much like Herpes
Firefly--also too gay
The Swordfish-- also ignored
Windchime--...
Carrot--it's a vegatable
POWERTHIRST--received no response

Anyways, those were just some of my many brilliant ideas. Julie also offered some of her own creative input, including Eggplant, Muffin-face, and Rolling Turd. Most of these recieved no comment.
My dad came up with what he thought were much "cooler" nicknames: Flash, Sting, Speedy, Bolt... All of which lacked any orignality. Not to mention the team already had a Speedy and Lightening.
Ryan flat out rejected all our input, instead suggesting if not Spencer, than perhaps Hank? --at which point I referenced the name to an old balding man working on a ranch in Texas...
The debate was getting heated. Everyone was starting to shout out random names, even my grandparents.
"POTATO!"
"ROLLING POTATO!"
"EGGPLANT!"
"PROFESSOR STEGASAURUS! NO--PROFESSOR X!"
"PEGASUS!"
"Yes, then we can shorten it to Peggy..."
Anyways, it got a little ridiculous after a while. Evetually, Ryan and Julie slipped out, but I refused to leave until Hermes was given further consideration.
But alas, they got out the Thesaurus and decided to go with Zoom-Zoom. That's when I officially gave up.
So please--if any of you have a name better than Zoom-Zoom that my brother will go for, PLEASE let me know! I cannot let this opportuity go to waste!